In less than a year, I will be married and a homeowner. Holyyyyy wow.

Why, yes! Today, I am, in fact, wearing pants that are 4 sizes smaller than what I used to wear. That's every other size, not including juniors' sizes. If we want to include them, that's 8 sizes. Man, oh man.

Awesome.

This is the second day in a row that we've been unable to do any actual work at work. Our system totally crashed. I guess someone made a really big mistake, and I would hate to be the guy who caused several days of non-productivity for all of medicare. On the bright side, we're going to be set pretty far behind, so maybe more overtime is on the horizon.

My birthday was 2 Saturdays ago! It was the best birthday I've had in a while. Dan worked his butt off to come up with some extra funds, and he took me out for a day of doing whatever I wanted, including going to BJ's for bongo bongo, hitting up Kohl's (I currently wear pants that are 3 sizes smaller than what I was wearing!), checking out Best Buy, visiting Josh, and going to the casino! He paid for absolutely everything, and I got to see a real horse race at the track. I started with $2 at the casino and ended up leaving with nearly $57. Talk about my lucky day! I never win like that. If I ever won like $2000 I would probably go into shock.

It may be a miracle, and it may not last long, but the system appears to be working.

This was the worst weekend ever. If one more person who is close to me has some sort of accident, I will go postal.

I've been awake for about an hour. So what? I'm old! I'm just lying in bed, taking in the air conditioning.

Yesterday, I went to Lebanon for the first time for a Memorial Day cookout. It was pretty fun, but also very overwhelming, as there were children EVERYWHERE, running around screaming and playing. I like kids, but man, are they a lot to keep up with! Dan told his sister that all the screaming and misbehaving are the best birth control ever. I don't think I'd be able to deal on a full-time basis.

Last night, we discovered that our neighbors' bedroom window directly faces our living room. Talk about gross, it was a trainwreck.

So apparently my mom has cysts on her ovaries and something going on with her uterus. I don't really know what any of this entails, and I think I'd like to keep it that way. It's one of those things that you don't want to think about too much. She's forbaden from going to work for the next 6 weeks and is bored out of her mind.

Losing weight is hard business. I mean, I'm still consistently losing (about 2-3 pounds per week), but I'm now at the point where a lot of my clothes don't fit. And I don't really have the money to constantly buy new ones! Yesterday, Becky (Dan's sister) and I tried on some smaller clothes just to see how they'd fit. The size I chose (3 smaller than what I had been wearing) was tight, but I know that soon I'll be able to fit it. Crazy. I can't remember the last time I was in that size! Plus, I've lost 6 inches from my waist alone! I'd also like to keep a journal or something about it but I don't want to become one of those people who is solely about the "weightloss journey."

I do "weigh in" every Monday. I have an excel spreadsheet with a line graph showing my progress. With the line steadily heading down, its a pretty big motivation to keep going. My goal was to be down 68 pounds by my birthday. I estimate that I'm going to miss that by about 8 pounds or so, but I'm not upset by it! I still can't believe I've lost over 50 pounds. I never really even tried before because I didn't think I could do it. It's really just amazing to see how much better off I am physically as compared to a year ago. I feel about a thousand times better, like I can actually move.

Still, lately I've been feeling pretty down on myself. I was sick all last week, so I just kind of lazed around. So blah blah blah, I felt sluggish and lazy and I sort of just want to fast forward to the end result! It feels like a waiting game.

Anyway, someone next to me is finally stirring around, so I'm going to call it quits here.

Daniel and I are just sitting around watching the frighteners. I love a little Michael J Fox. This morning we did yoga and had veggie burgers for lunch. I've actually lost 50 pounds, which is super exciting... And was a lot of hard work.

I'm not getting a raise. I'm pretty sure that's ruined my entire week.

So I'm settling into life in our new apartment. Most days, at the end of the day, we just sit back on the couch and talk about how much we like it here. We're getting into a routine, and things are going really well so far.

Last weekend, we went out with some of my friends from work. I do believe Danny fell in love with them. They all seemed to get along really well.

Ahh I wanted to update and now I don't know what to say. Plus, this is a lot of blackberry typing.

Speaking of my blackberry, the facebook app sucks.

Anyway, work is good. I will hopefully be getting a raise in the near future. I don't love the job, per se, but I do love the company. It's a really great place to work, and I feel pretty lucky.

Ok I'm going to end it here.

I went to my first spinning class today. I think I nearly died! My ass hurts. My legs feel like they may fall off. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be walking like a cowboy tomorrow. But I'm going to do it again, same time, same place, next week. Woof.

Danny and I are moving into an apartment in Newport on the 28th of this month. I'm pretty excited! It's right in town, and it's a beautiful old building with hardwood floors and a massive balcony. The icing on the cake is that the move cuts 22 miles per day off my commute to work. Furthermore, my point here is that we want to start biking this summer. We're going to be within a few minutes of Little Buffalo State Park, and it would be awesome to ride the trails over there. And who doesn't like Little Buffalo?

I've also been doing yoga. That, I really enjoy. Dan and I have been doing it together. It's usually good for a laugh or two.

Have I mentioned that I work for a completely awesome company and the spinning and yoga classes are free, along with the use of the gym? Yeah.

Anyway, it's bedtime. I am old and lame.

1. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's & father's middle names)
Ann Kenneth

2. NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother's dad, father's dad)
Roy Robert

3. STAR WARS NAME: (the first 2 letters of your last name, first 4 letters of your first name)
Chalis

4. DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Purple Guinea Pig

5. SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you live)
Elise Thompsontown

6. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite alcoholic drink, optionally add "THE" to the beginning)
The Black Captain

7. FLY NAME: (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)
Al-Chi

8. GANGSTA NAME: (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite cookie)
Vanilla Pumpkin

9. ROCK STAR NAME: (current pet's name, current street name)
Cammie Jonestown

10. PORN NAME: (1st pet, street you grew up on)
Tabby Mountain

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship? I don't know how serious we are, but we are exclusive and have a whole lot of fun

02) What was your dream growing up? I think I remember being in first grade and drawing a picture of a waitress. I had high hopes.

03) What talent do you wish you had? Something useful... like being able to do my makeup while driving.

04) If I bought you a drink what would it be? A captain and coke.. preferably a double or in a pitcher. No lime.

05) Favorite vegetable? Broccoli and spinach! Mmmmm..

06) What was the last book you read? The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. AWESOME.

07) What zodiac sign are you? Gemini

08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Just my ears these days, and I don't even put earrings in those.

09) Worst Habit? I make a lot of really bad jokes.

10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride? If I knew you, and I wasn't in a hurry. Besides, if you're walking down the street, you're probably just enjoying the scenery and don't want a ride.

11) What is your favorite sport? I don't especially care about sports. I enjoy Penn State football.

12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude? Ehhhh... I'd say probably more optimistic mixed with a dash of cynicism

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator? Curl up in the fetal position and cry. Maybe throw in some hyperventilating.

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you? Pancreatitis was pretty bad. I've never really had anything totally horrible happen to me.

15) Tell me one weird fact about you. If you haven't heard already, when I clean my right ear, I cough.

16) Do you have any pets? Jonas!!! He lives outside at Dan's house now.

17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly? Um, it would be the greatest moment EVER! I miss you!

18) What was your first impression of me? Why is that girl so quiet and doing the shy dance in the corner?

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary? scary.

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? I could stand to lose some pounds. ALSO! My teeth have shifted in the past year or so, and I now have a gap between my two front teeth. Boo to that.

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience? I'm so many peoples' partner in crime. Basically, I'm a bad influence.

22) What color eyes do you have? dark blue

23) Ever been arrested? almost.

24) Bottle or can soda? I don't like soda.

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it? pay off my credit cards and buy new clothes

26) What is your middle name? Elise

27) What's your favorite place to hang out at? My house seems to be the place to be. I also enjoy Dan's basement and garage, any place with a fire pit, and random assorted fields.

28) Do you believe in ghosts? Sure.

29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time? Vegetate.

30) Do you swear a lot? I've got quite a potty mouth these days. I didn't really have one before.

31) Biggest pet peeve? RUDE PEOPLE, LATE PEOPLE, stupid grammatical errors (even though I make more and more the longer I live back home), I could go on.

32) In one word, how would you describe yourself? Nuts.

33) Do you believe/appreciate romance? I definitely appreciate it.

34) Favorite and least favorite food? Favorite: Rosemary and Olive Oil Tricuits and Roasted Red Pepper Hummus, Mac & Cheese Least: I hate corn, steak, lima beans, pork, etc.

35) Do you believe in God? not really. I'd like to, but I can't.

36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you? Wtf. sure?

I'm just sitting around waiting for Hishpy to go out to a hick bar. I'm not entirely thrilled by the prospect, but I think I just need a nap to snap myself out of this funk!

Annnd I have a new boyfriend who is super ridiculously wonderful. It's been about a month and a half or so. I'm mildly infatuated with him, and he makes me a pretty happy camper. His name is Dan. He got me a kitten. I named him Jonas.

OK, Kyle just called to inform me that they are heading out, so I should get a move on... maybe try to make myself look presentable or something.

This concludes the lamest journal entry ever.

I am loving life.

A night in text messages:

"You should probably be at the skeller right now. Thats right, im harassing you already!" (to Newbie, roughly 20 minutes after getting his phone number)

"I am drunk and mr hand is rockin'!" (I would never soberly say anything remotely like this in my entire life... to John)

"Wtf. Everlong! Foo fighter" (to Dave Ortiz... presumably Mr. Hand was playing Everlong.)

"Im mildly in love with him. I secretly have a thing for boys who weigh half what i do and wear girl pants" (To Dave again. I don't even know.)

"We are in rtate college and a band is playing dont rtop believing. Suck on that" (to Matt Witzel, an underage DJ)

"Fuck im in rtate college" (to my brother... i don't know in reference to what.)

"What. Hishpy is slutting it up" (Also to my brother... and she wasn't.)

"And I wld l4ke to visit u but we need to pass out" (To John)

"Boo. Fuck josh. We arent taking him home tomorrow" (To John regarding our anger at Josh for being a dbag)

"I want the maintenance man" (to John and literally out of nowhere)

"We are pissed! Well not so much me" (to Kevin Thomas, who is my mentor, of all people... you know, immediately after I told him I was wasted)

"Im hot. Can i just get a fucking sheet up in this joint? Also i am hungover" (to Hishpy at 7:02 am the morning after)


OK, and I received some good ones, too.


From my brother: "wanna read a sentence thatll get u hopping mad within 1 milla second?" -seriously, this sentence made my bleak, hungover morning.

From Hishpy: "Reply i feel like hell ibet there are bags under my eyes its freezing up in here" -The best part is that it says "Reply" in the beginning.


So, we had a little fun in State College. We didn't take any pictures. Not a one. Oh, and there was a lot of vomming this morning.

I am fully loving and appreciating life at the moment. Plans for the class reunion are running along smoothly, plans for an old high school gang reunion are also running along smoothly, and I've got a nice little group of friends who I fully enjoy.

Still, I'm missing State College. Summer in State College, nothing beats it! Well, ok, I love summers in JCo too, and this is my first one since 2005!

"What I have learned so far this summer," a personal essay by Alison Childs
I can drink a lot (though I don't all that often), and throwing up when you're drunk sure beats throwing up when you're sober the next morning.

There's been recent drama with my subletter not paying rent. I almost killed someone. I certainly can't afford to pay it!

I'm still in training at PHEAA, coming up on week 4. I'm enjoying it so far and have the highest test average in the class. I guess I just need to evaluate where I want this experience to take me. Ultimately, I'd still like to be able to move away (down south or even out west), so I need to seriously think about my long-term goals. Really, I just need to keep my ears open for possibilities. I was telling Hishpy that someday, I wouldn't mind being something like a Financial Aid Officer for a university. Though, I will stand by my quickly shattered dream of becoming an admissions director. I feel like that's something at which I would really excel.

Last night, Hishpy and I had a huge, draining heart-to-heart. Then we shared a mini-pizza (I literally fed it to her) and passed out. I woke up at 7 am with all my clothes on (including my shoes!) to drive home to my own bed, and I was so tired I thought I would never make it.

Anyway. Someone recently told me that before they got to know me, they wanted to sleep with me. I don't know whether to be offended or what. It's like, "Hey, you look pretty, but you're too much of a bitch for me to want to have sex with you."

Last night, I accidentally dyed my hair black again. This time, I sort of like it. My brief stint of (nearly) blonde hair just left me missing my dark hair. I think it works better for me.

That's all I really have to say for now. I'm going to go play some Guitar Hero and maybe watch a movie. I love actually having weekends off.

1. First Name: Alison

2. Age: 23

3. Location: Central PA

4. Occupation: Asset Maintenance for PHEAA/AES

5. Partner?: Hishpy's as close to a partner as I'm going to get.

6. Kids: 42

7. Brothers/Sisters: Kenneth (17), Larry (13), Timmy (8), Shannon (4)

8. Pets: Cammie the bunny, Kirby the guinea pig, and Charlie and Faye the evil birds. Cammie is the love of my life.

9. List the 3-5 biggest things going on in your life (not in order):
1. Settling in to my new job
2. Being a big ol' hussy
3. Missing State
4. Being a slob
5. Worrying about everything (as per usual)--well put, Nicole!

10) Where and for what did you go to school?: I have a BA in Music from Susquehanna University.

11) Parents?: I have a mom (Leigh Ann), a dad (Michael), a stepmom (Julie), a stepdad (Larry), and a mom's boyfriend (Tim).

12) Who are some of your closest friends?: Hishpy, the illustrious John Alvarez, Ashley Thompson, Ryan Pellman, Nicole Rachau, Kristina, my brother Kenneth.



Anyway, last night was a drunkfest at my house. Good times had by all, including Nathan who passed out literally within 5 minutes of walking in the door.

Four years after the fact. This piece makes me cry to this day. I wrote it in memory of Scott Ellenberger. And although I wasn't happy with the performance, I decided it's high time I put this work out into the public eye :-)

boomp3.com

Oh, Oscar Wilde, you're a funny guy.

Anyway, life is moving on. The past month has gone by ridiculously quickly. I'm moving back home in two weeks. I just frantically started applying to jobs this week. There are a few that I'm pretty excited about, such as working for Susquehanna as the Assistant Director of Admissions. That would be perfect. However, the day I mailed in my resume et al, I noticed that they had removed the posting. I hope it's not because they've already hired someone. I want the job really super badly.

Other than that, not a whole lot is going on. I'm continuing with the ridiculous amounts of working trend. Tomorrow, I'm cooking dinner for Ryan Pellman, who is the love of my life, and going to the Skeller with Katie and Roger (and hopefully Hishpy!).

Life is good. I'm seeing a light at the end of this crazy tunnel I burrowed myself into. Now, if only I had a job lined up.

I talked to my stepfather today for the first time in about a year. He certainly was a chatty Cathy. The thing is--I've never really heard him string more than two sentences together at a time unless he was yelling at me. We (mostly he) talked for 40 minutes today. Craziness. He invited me to live with him, saying that I could have the basement, yadda yadda, and I would just need to help with electricity and phone. Yes, shock of my lifetime.

Honestly, I'd almost prefer living there with him. I've gotten used to living alone, and the idea of living with my crazy brothers, mother, and her new boyfriend is daunting. I may die. Then again, I do have to remind myself that I've hated Larry for as long as I can remember and even plotted his death at the age of 8.

But it is something to think about. I actually had considered it before, but when I brought it up with my grandma, she was like, "Oh, no. You do not want to be linked to him or give him any power over you in any way." She's right. Blah.

Am I the only person who is annoyed by people who say "tipsy" when referring to someone who is actually quite ridiculously drunk? No, really.

OK, back to work and the job search.

Every year from about January through April--with the exception of last year--I become progressively more anti-social, unhappy, and hopeless. It took me until this year to realize that it's most likely seasonal depression. It didn't happen last year, due to the fact that I was in a new place with new things to keep me occupied; however, this year has been a doozy. I haven't wanted to do anything for months. Anxiety, general unhappiness, and extreme feelings of helplessness basically characterize my daily life. In addition, I am fully displeased with my current work situation. I can't keep doing what I've been doing for much longer. Here's a look at what a typical day entails:

2:30 pm, wake up
3:30 pm-9:30 pm, work at Pier 1
11 pm-7 am, work at Springhill
8 am, asleep
2:30 pm, wake up

...and so it repeats. But on Tuesdays (and coming soon... Thursdays!), I teach at Robert M. Sides from 4-7:30.

Let's not forget to mention how unfairly Yaser (my GM at the Springhill) treats not only me, but everyone who works for him, and that Pier 1 has made me realize that I can never again work in retail.

Fortunately, I will be moving in roughly 5 weeks. That's right; I'm moving back to JCo. It's a lot of things, but mainly some family issues (that I won't get into) and that I'll be able to save money by living in my mom's place for a few months. I just need to find someone to sublet my half of the apartment (and I have a few interested people, thank God), and I'm good to go. In August, I hope to find my own place again.

I started my job search a few weeks ago, and I'm just now really getting down to business.

Honestly though, if I were to move home and not have a job right away, I don't know that I would be terribly torn up about it. I NEED a break, and I have enough paid time off saved up at both Springhill and P1 to give me a week's paid after I leave. Plus, I've been regularly depositing in my ING account, so money's not an immediate issue.

Ultimately, I am tired of working 8 times as much as everyone else and struggling to barely get by.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't excited by the prospect of a summer in JCo. I love them, and I haven't had one since summer '05. And what I really want to do is go camping. I haven't been camping since like summer '04. Of course, those camping trips were extremely fun, but I doubt I will ever be able to convince Miss Hishpy to get anywhere nearer the great outdoors than she already is.

I have dreams of still nights with a slight breeze ruffling my hair, topped with the smell of freshly cut grass. Of sitting on my front porch and hearing the Tuscarora 50, seeing a car drive past once every half hour. Crickets chirping, the nighttime forest coming to life and the creek babbling in the background as I lie on my back in that freshly cut grass, staring at the stars even though I don't know any of the constellations.

Someone recently asked me how life was. My response:
You know how in the movies there are those speeding trains that are chugging along with no breaks, and they're coming up to a cliff where the track ends? Everyone's panicking and no one knows what to do: total chaos. The train always hits the edge of the tracks before you can truly believe that it's going to happen. Suddenly, there it is, suspended in mid-air for a split second before the fiery crash that ensues when it topples into the quarry. That's what my life feels like.

Everything needs to slow down. I keep having this feeling that I need to do something grand with my life, like writing the great American novel or Mr. Holland's Opus. Maybe invent something revolutionary or find a cure for cancer.

Sadly, there's just. no. time.

1. Pick 15 of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess.
4. Fill in the film title once it's guessed.
5. NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search functions to answer!


1. You do realize you may be the only person at this party with artificial sideburns?

2. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there. American Psycho

3. Purple in the morning, blue in the afternoon, and orange in the evening. Just like that, one, two, three, four. Requiem for a Dream

4. Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident. Anchorman


5. If there's one thing I know about all my years watching Earth, it's that people aren't what they may seem. There are shop boys, and there are boys that just happened to work in a shop for the time being. And trust me Tristan, you are no shop boy. You saved my life. Thank you. Stardust

6. Thirty years had passed, yet her body remained that of an eternal child. Her eyes alone told the story of her age, staring out from under her doll-like curls, with a questioning that will one day need an answer. Interview with the Vampire

7. Are you crazy? A man in a... really nice camper wants to put our song on the radio! Gimme a pen, I'm signin'! You're signin'! We're all signin'! That Thing You Do!

8. Just imagine if girls weren't weirded out by our boners and stuff, and just like wanted to see them. That's the world I one day want to live in. Superbad

9. I know what stomach cancer looks like. I've seen it, and you don't eat three cheeseburgers a day with french fries when you got it. The Royal Tenenbaums

10. Like I'd marry you! You'd be the meanest wife ever, okay? And I know that you weren't bored that day because there was a lot of stuff on TV, and then 'The Blair Witch Project' was coming on Starz and you were like, "I haven't seen this since it came out and if so we should watch it" and "but oh, no, we should just make out instead la la la." Juno

11. Well, there was the part that you missed where I distracted him with the cuddle monkey, then I said, "Play time's over," and I hit him in the head with the peace lily.

12. If I hear so much as a mouse fart in here the rest of the night I swear by God and sonny Jesus you will all visit the infirmary. Every last motherfucker in here. The Shawshank Redemption

13. You think this is a love affair? A relationship? What, sticky gold stars, and - and a strand of my hair? A sticker from Pizza Express? It's a flat in the Archway Road and you think you're Virginia frigging Woolf! And where did you get my hair? Did you pluck it from the bath with some special fucking tweezers? Notes on a Scandal

14. Nino is late. [She] can only see two explanations. 1 - he didn't get the photo. 2 - before he could assemble it, a gang of bank robbers took him hostage. The cops gave chase. They got away... but he caused a crash. When he came to, he'd lost his memory. An ex-con picked him up, mistook him for a fugitive, and shipped him to Istanbul. There he met some Afghan raiders who too him to steal some Russian warheads. But their truck hit a mine in Tajikistan. He survived, took to the hills, and became a Mujaheddin. [She] refuses to get upset for a guy who'll eat borscht all his life in a hat like a tea cozy. Amelie

15. Now, remember - according to my theory, you interfered with your parents first meeting. If they don't meet, they won't fall in love, they won't get married and they won't have kids. That's why your older brother's disappearing from that photograph. Your sister will follow, and unless you repair the damage, you'll be next! Back to the Future, Part I